“I regret buying a house with my boyfriend!” that’s the message I got from my friend years ago. Now she is in a much happier relationship and got married. I am so glad for her.
Today, I will share her story and hope we can all learn one or two from her story.
For the sake of the story, I will call my friend Jenny ( not her real name). Jenny was a girl full of life, happy, and had the best sense of humor. But, the relationship takes a toll on her. Back then, she was dating this guy named Ben (not a real name too).
Jenny and Ben have been dating for almost ten years. They do have a rocky relationship, but they make it works every time. Over the years, Ben cheated on Jenny a couple of times, but Jenny forgave him, and they move on from that every time it happens.
Jenny and Ben were desperately looking for a way to commit to each other. They want to move from the current level in a relationship.
As both not ready to commit to marriage, they thought maybe the next best thing is buying a house together. At that time, this seems to be the most logical choice for them.
So, they start surveying around for a house, they visited a few developer show units, and at last, they found something they like very much. They put a booking and apply for a bank loan.
Now, they have to wait for the house to complete. It will take three years. During the period, they have started servicing the loan.
THE FINAL STRAW
Everything goes smoothly until the relationship goes down the hill again.
Ben cheated on Jenny again.
This is the last straw for Jenny. She wasted ten precious years of her life on a man who does not appreciate her. She makes up her mind. Leaving seems to be the only option.
They have the biggest fight ever and said some hurtful things to each other. The battle ended with Ben leaving the house.
The next couple of weeks involved Ben trying to make amends. But Jenny had ENOUGH. So, they stop talking to each other. And they also stop servicing the house loan payment to the banks.
That’s when their loan conduct went from good to bad. Eventually, Ben concludes that he wanted the house and keeps paying for the house loan.
And Jenny decided not to claim for any compensation since she does not put down any deposit, and she wants the relationship to be over soon.
However, they must remain the communication channel with each other until the house is completed.
This is because the developer and bank will not allow any name changes when the property is still under construction.
Once the property was completed, Ben hired a lawyer to do a transfer. He agrees to bear all the lawyer fees, stamp duty, and any fees. But his loans get rejected.
So, Jenny has to stay in touch with him until he is sorting out his financial issue. That will be another few months down the road.
Things get drag from months to a year, and Jenny starts to be impatient. Her CCRIS is not pretty, as Ben has been defaulting the loan for 2-3 months.
Ben told Jenny that he is working out things. And his house loan will be approved soon while it’s true. A month later, Jenny gets a call from the law office to sign the transfer document.
She was happy; everything is over now. But, it takes a very long period to solve the issue. In the meantime, she could not get any loans due to the bad CCRIS, and the housing commitment befalls her.
She vows to never buy a house with any of her boyfriend ever again. Her precise words, “I regret buying a house with my boyfriend!”
People said everything happens for a reason.
And maybe when the bad things happen, we are too blind to understand why it happens. After a few years down the road, we will be realized why it happens.
In this case, if Jenny has not left Ben, she will not meet her current husband. And be as happy as she is now.
A few things we can learn from Jenny and Ben’s story.
a. Do not buy a house to fill the HOLE in your relationship. If you find the relationship lack of certain quality, work on that. Please do not use a home as steppingstones to fill it.
b. When buying an under-construction house, you cannot make any changes until the property is completed. The developer and bank will not allow it.
c. When buying a house with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it will be easier if one party agrees to take over the home or loan.
d. If both parties disagree, the situation can turn from bad to worse, especially for under-construction property.
How to transfer a property between boyfriend or girlfriend?
First of all, a property transfer has to be done on a completed property. If the property is under construction, you must wait for it to be completed. This is because the developer and bank will not allow it.
Then, you need to apply for a new house loan. The party that is going to take over the property will need to get a new house loan.
When applying for the house loan, you must mention to the banker that another party transfers the property to you without drafting a Sale and Purchase agreement. It is going to cost you more when there is Sale and Purchase Agreement involvement.
Once the house loan is approved, get a lawyer to start doing the transfer and loan works. It’s going to take at least four months or more to complete the whole transaction.
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